Tv, Scream Queens, Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jon Stamos, Taylor Lautner, Colton Haynes

"It's Mean, it's Green and it's Chanel #5" - Scream Queens S02E02 Power Rankings

We're back with another episode of Scream Queens power rankings for season two!
Check out last week's episode here.


I'm Emma Maguire, and this week we have the curious case of Tyler (Colton Haynes), a young man with Type 1 neurofibromatosis. This condition leaves wart-like tumors all over the body, and, like last week's Disease of the Week, it's very real.
Don't Google it.

This episode opens with Chanel #5 being blamed for the death of 'Werewolf Girl' (Cecily Strong), the woman who died last week. However, we all know she didn't do it, as we saw the Green Meanie - this year's answer to the Red Devil - lop her head off in the most grandiose way possible.

They try to cure Tyler, but he gets unceremoniously murdered by the Green Meanie before they can do so. This seems like a common plot thread, and I hope they subvert it in the next episode.

Along the way, Chad Radwell reappears to try and win back Chanel's heart. Things don't go quite as well as planned, and Chad and Dr Brock (the hot older one) have what could accurately be the most homoerotic shower scene in the entire series. I'm allowed to say that as they lampshade it themselves. It was very homoerotic.

Chad Radwell and Dr Holt in a shower together. (Before y'all get at me, I'm gay myself and I was making an observation about the use of 'no homo' within our masculinised culture. 10/10 a joke y'all. You need to watch the episode for context.)

It was a pretty good episode, considering. This episode managed to delve into the true hearts of some of the characters and I liked what I saw.

Onto the power rankings!

1. CHANEL #5

Chanel #5, Abigail Breslin

Up seven, we have Chanel #5, who managed to redeem herself for her dumb behaviour last week.

Discovering that Tyler used to be a hot guy, and wanting to dispel the rumours that she has teeth in her vagina, she befriends the other man, and tries to get him the laser therapy that he needs.

Although her behaviour is motivated by selfish reasons at first, she grows over the course of the episode and falls in love with Tyler for who he is. It's a nice change for one of the Chanels, as it's very rare that they are actually shown to have some sort of empathy.

I'm proud of her.


Tyler, Colton Haynes

Despite the fact that he was only around for less than an episode, I liked him. He was a sweetheart and didn't deserve to die. (Who's betting that I'm going to be writing that every week?)


Cathy Munsch, Jamie Lee Curtis

Munsch has moved up one from last week after an uncharacteristic show of humanity.

I would happily have Dean Munsch as a teacher of mine. I know she's a terrible person, and a horrible liar, but screw it. There's something about her domineering personality that I just like.

We learn that she opened the hospital to cure herself of the illness she was sure she had. Spoiler alert, she does have an illness, and it's kuru, the disease you get when you eat human brains.

Oops. That vacation with a bunch of cannibals was a mistake, it seems. What can you do?

(Who wants to bet that it's not actually kuru and she's not actually dying?)


Chamberlain Jackson

The man who runs the hospital's gift cart, and the man who has a huge crush on Zayday, Chamberlain Jackson is a precious human being. Although he might be a tad clingy re the whole 'crush' thing, he appears to have a good heart.

I hope he's not the murderer.


Zayday Williams, Keke Palmer

Down four from last week, Zayday didn't have much to add.
While I still love her with all my heart, her contribution to this episode was minimal. She did discover what Dean Munsch's disease was, but that was very much a B-story as opposed to Chanel #5's A-story.

I love her, though.
You go girl.


Chad Radwell

Chad Radwell, who is one of the douchey frat lads from the last season, has returned. Yeah, he's still terrible, but I'm somewhat fond of him. I don't think I'd like him if he was real, but he's okay on television.


Dr Holt, Jon Stamos

Dr Holt has remained at the 7th spot for two weeks in a row. Will he move next week? Only time will tell.

We discover that his donated hand is actually from a serial killer and has a mind of its own.

I guess he's pretty handy at murder then, huh?

(I'll show myself out.)

8. CHANEL #2

Chanel #3, Billie Lourd

Chanel #3 is down five from last week. She was barely in this episode. I just like Billie Lourd.

Notable exclusions this week include Dr Cassidy Cascade (Taylor Lautner) as he did literally nothing this episode, Chanel (Emma Roberts) because she was just irritating the entire time, and Hester (Lea Michele) as although she did return to the show, she contributed nothing to the rest of the plot.

Do you agree with my power rankings? Comment below!

Emma Maguire