film, gods of eygpt, bast, thoth, horus, hollywood remake

Gods of Egypt: A film you can never forget

Here we have yet another film in Hollywood’s obsessive compulsive reinvention of classic tales. They have already ruined Hercules, Robin Hood and various other tales to date. So it is hardly surprising that Egypt would get brought into the saga as well. As always historical fact, original fables are not going to get in the way of a huge blockbuster action movie. If you can get over cringing every time they mispronounce Thoth’s name, you certainly will get hung up on the fact instead of being the God of Knowledge and founder of magic, he is basically an egotistical scribe documenting everything in creation from his little library. Most of the God/Goddesses are just point of interest and hardly covered at all apart from the odd appearance in a fight. Even Bast is used purely as an afterthought, when she is one of the main Goddesses. At least I think one of the snake riding females was meant to be Bast!

The movie rotates around the life of Horus as he is due to take the throne from his father Osiris before Set decides to break into the party, kill his father and take the crown for himself. Planning to kill any God who stands against him. Beating Horus, taking his eyes, leaving him for dead. Taking Hathor as his consort purely to hurt Horus, as she only takes the position to be close to Set ready to kill him when possible. I do like how they portrayed both sides of Hathor, the Goddess of Love as well as The Mistress of The West taking souls to the after life. Someone clearly took a great deal of interest in making her at least mostly true to what she should be. Even if she is now a lover of Horus instead of his mother.

Horus reduced to a drunken wreck after the loss of his father is typical Hollywood lets break the good guy and have him fight back to be awesome! You could take those broken man scenes and put them into pretty much any movie of the last ten years and it would still work. I really wish they would be slightly more inventive then leaving the hero to drink himself to death until XYZ comes to slap some sense into him!

And then we have the two mortals and their sub storyline. Master thief Bek and his wife to be who is tragically killed when he tries to free her from being a slave. Zaya believes in the Gods and Horus, so Bek forms an alliance with him to try and get her brought back from the dead. As he knows the plans to Set’s temples, and also has managed to steal one of Horus’s eyes back. Where the other one is they aren’t completely sure, but again that’s not gonna stop this Indiana Jones style plot from progressing. Oh and Horus offering to save Zaya? He lied.

This is a truly dreadful movie all around. The effects are nothing special. Don't even get me on what the Sphinx looked like! The storyline is limited, fast moving and often makes little to no sense. The only stand out characters are Bek who is far more the hero then Horus and Hathor. The film is far too long, needed a good half an hour removing. People around me as well as myself were growing bored waiting for the end credits. All I can think is that Ray Harryhausen did this far better, with much more impressive effects, and a fraction of the budget.

6/10 stars for this one and I still think that is overly generous.

Sarah Beth James